Have you ever wondered what would be in 'Titanic' if the same was made in Bollywood?
The name of the movie would be 'Dilwale Paani Me Doob Jaayenge' and Love Story specialist Yash or Aditya Chopra would direct it. Well here it goes!
„h Because Yashraj Films producing it; Shahrukh has to play JJJJJ JJJ Jack. Kajol has to be Rose. She's on vacations with her 'dad-chosen' fiance Gulshan Grover who mutters 'bad man' everytime he sees Shahrukh.
„h Amitabh Bachchan would make a 'surprise appearance' as the Ship's captain and would be waltzing with Kajol during the party. Of course, he would not die.
„h Shahrukh will be travelling with his sister and 5 other chamchas from college plus 50 extras who are well trained with every dance sequence in the world.
„h The movie would only last for 7 hours. Thanks to great piece of editing, there would be only 22 songs in the movie out of 30 in CD album.
„h The ship will start sinking, not because of the iceberg but because of excessive on- board population.
„h The infamous lovemaking in the back seat of the car would be replaced with a song in the Swiss Alps.
„h Best friend of Shahrukh will save his sister from being raped during chaos. The sister will instantly fall in love right after this and she will also get a song or two.
„h Remember Rose changing her mind about jumping into the water? In our case, Kajol changes her mind, since...since... the ship is moving along a creek and the water stinks!
„h How can we forget the painting scene? Shahrukh would be painting Kajol's portrait with Kajol fully covered minus the locket (Censors yaar!). This is to be followed by a dance number, with extras of course, in a art gallery.
„h There would be an item song featuring Isha Koppikar instead of the trio playing the violin.
„h Most important!! The number of times the word 'Bachaoooo' would be yelled would be a record in the history of cinema.
„h And the masterpiece would be waste of time...ooops waste of money without...
'Raaaabert...Captain se ja ke kaho ke agar apni maa or bahen ko zinda dekhna chahte ho to naav ko Hindustaan kee sarhado se hamesha hamesha ke liye bahooot door le le...'
„h Shahrukh would eventually find his long lost mom Aasoo Devi (Farida Jalal) on the ship. Only during the climax would Aasoo Devi tell Shahrukh about how Gulshan troubled them. Shahrukh would then yell, 'Kutte mein tera khoon pee jaaoonga'. The ensuing fight would only last for an hour.
„h In climax, Gulshan & Party would get wild and start firing on the ship. Jr. Gundas & Some extras has to die as a result.
„h At the end, Shahrukh and party would safely come out of disaster with 'NO KHAROCH' bodies. Dialogues like 'Bhagwaan ka Lakh Lakh Shukar Hai...', 'Sachcha Pyaar Kabhi Nahi Marta' to conclude the scene.
„h Kajol's dad Amrish Puri, would finally accept Shahrukh as 'Son-in-Law' after realising that NOBODY ccould love his daughter as much as him.
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