History : The useful knowledge of useless people
Outstanding student: A student who stands outside the class when the lecture is going on
Teacher: A person who keeps on talking and doesn't allow others to talk.
Life Insurance: Keeps you poor through out your life so that you can die Rich.
Friend: A bank of account from which you cannot withdraw anything without any deposit.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Rumour: News that travels at the speed of sound.
Dictionary: The only place where divorce comes before marriage.
College: A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.
Ecstasy:A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
Office:A place where you can relax after your strenuous homelife.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee :- Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
Marriage:It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master's.
Worry:Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power.
Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher:A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Optimist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .
Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
Software Engineer: Who is paid for reading this mail.
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