'CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?' Translated: 'Why isn't it already on the table?'
'UH HUH,' 'SURE, HONEY,' OR 'YES, DEAR' Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
'IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN' Translated: 'I have no idea how it works.'
'I CAN'T FIND IT.' Translated: 'It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless.'
'I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND.' Translated: 'That girl standing on the corner is a real babe.'
'TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD.' Translated: 'I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.'
'I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES.' Translated: 'The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.'
'OH, DON'T FUSS - I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL.' Translated: 'I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt.'
'WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?' Translated: 'What did you catch me at?'
'I HEARD YOU.' Translated: 'I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me.'
'YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE.' Translated: 'I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse.'
'YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.' Translated: 'Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving.'
'I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.' Translated: 'No one will ever see us alive again.'
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